Well,
this is embarrassing. A few days ago I wrote a post about the Mega Man series, and at the end of it I
said that Mega Man 11 was indisputably
the best one. Well, Mega Man 11 came
out today, and I need to retract that statement. It’s not that I was wrong, mind you—I’ve… changed my mind.
As a
massive Mega Man fanboy person, I was
prepared to buy the game from Nintendo’s online store on release day so I could
play it ASAP. The first red flag was that, instead of the $29.99 I was promised
to have to pay for it, Mega Man 11
was being given away for free. This disconcerted and befuddled me. Could there really be a new Mega Man game
for free? I thought. Is it possible
that it could’ve been so bad that Capcom couldn’t charge for it?
Unfortunately, that was precisely the case. You see, the game only
has one level. All that stuff they revealed before release? Blast Man?
Challenges? Balloon Attack? Lies. There is no Mega Man 11. Only Block Man.
Proof that there really is, in fact, only one level. I have photographic evidence. |
So I
decided to give this ONE level a
shot, find out if it was any good. It wasn’t. There were so many enemies, many
of which seemed to only take damage when they felt like it. If I hit one with a
lemon, it appeared to be up to random chance whether or not the guys inside the
wheels took the hit. When did Mega Man
become Dungeons & Dragons? The
same thing happened with the mid bosses. Yes, there were two mid bosses in this game’s one
level. I never even made it to Block Man himself. If I wanted to pray to the
dice, I’d get out Yahtzee! or go to a casino. That doesn’t belong in Mega Man.
You'll never know if that shot did any damage. Does this fact frustrate you? That's how playing this game feels. |
I could tell you about how else the gameplay has changed, or give my opinion on the new art style, or rant about how Mega Man should never be voiced in any game ever again because he was voiced in Mega Man 8 and that game is the literal worst thing since the literal devil, but I’ve told you all you really need to know, I think. D&D sucks. Mega Man 11 sucks. Capcom sucks. This website sucks. Don’t pay serious attention to any of those things and you’ll have a happier life. Good day.
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